Friday 20 February 2015

Some things...

Seven things, to be precise.

1) If in 1993 you'd asked 1000 people to pick a new rapper that would still be making reasonably successful music on a major label 20 years later, I'm pretty sure no one would've chosen Fat Joe. Mr Crack (as his fellow PTA members call him) has endured a decent career without ever being particularly outstanding. He's also managed a decent amount of commercially successful singles which is pretty bizarre for someone who made their name off Diamond D beats and Kool G Rap collabos. He's no one's favourite rapper yet he's outlasted most of his peers. Other '93 alumni like Jeru, Buckshot and Inspectah Deck are probably wondering where the fuck they went wrong when they're backstage waiting to perform to 150 people in a basement in Budapest and Joseph Cartagena is kicking back with a low fat smoothie watching the outakes from his videos with J Lo and R Kelly on his HD plasma. Salute.

2) People really need to chill with the J Dilla anniversaries, tributes and reissues. And what the fuck his mum has do to with anything is beyond me. I imagine if he could see what's happened since he died he'd find the whole thing hugely embarrassing. I get that he's very innovative and creative with his sampling and drums and blah blah but where's his 'TROY', his 'World Is Yours' or his 'Come Clean'? Fuck, where's his 'Grindin', 'Protect Ya Neck' or 'Get Low' for that matter. It kind of makes me scared of what will happen when we lose Primo, Dre, Marley and the 10-20 other producers that rank above him.

3) Kendrick Lamar. I get that if you aren't into Drake/Young Thug/Molly & Weed rap or whatever then you might consider him a "refreshing alternative" but his voice is fucking terrible. Trying to sound like Canibus when you want to, like, really seriously get your point across because you have Something To Say is not the one. I get the feeling he wants to be Nas x Kanye but he's basically the US version of Rizzle Kicks.

4) How have we found ourselves in a world where Kanye, Paul McCartney and fucking Rihanna can make a song together without any fear of violent reprisals. It's becoming increasingly hard to believe Kanye was behind so much good rap music 10-12 years ago. The least he could do is throw us a 'Power' or 'Cant Tell Me Nothing' every now and again.

5) If someone thinks 'Illmatic' is the best rap album ever I just assume they're too young to have heard 'Nation Of Millions...'. One is a great rap album. The other is just a great album. One took early 90s Hip Hop to its logical conclusion and one just changed the whole fucking game. Pretty much all rap sounds weak if you play it after classic PE/Bomb Squad music. Check this great BBC4 documentary on the group here and an unintentionally hilarious look at what Professor Griff is up to these days here (spoiler: 2Pac was killed because he wouldn't let Quincy Jones take him up the wrong 'un)

6) There really should've been a third Crooklyn Dodgers record (I assume we've all agreed to pretend this didn't happen). 1998 would've been a good time for it. I think a line up of Big Daddy Kane, Sauce Money and Jay Z with Primo on the boards would've done the business. They could have tied it in with being a Biggie tribute seeing as all the other ones at the time were terrible.
On a related note, this is a really good article about the making of the first Crooklyn Dodgers record. A whole album could've been amazing. Shame Buckshot opted to do that second Black Moon album instead but then that's why he's in Budapest and not lounging with video hoes like ya boy Joey Crack.
Side note: This is probably the worst photo to ever grace the cover of a rap album

7) How the fuck did we get into a position where people are talking about this and using the phrases 'classic', 'fire' and 'blackout' ?  At best its mildly amusing but for the most part its pretty shit. I mean, I know the people championing it on twitter were probably the same ones losing their mind over Kendrick's 'Control' verse (yawn) but still.

This post was bought to you by a long week, a scroll back through old twitter posts and this morning's playlist being set to 'random'.


  1. What you said about Fat Joe is true even though I don't really care for his music post 2002 he outlasted just about every rapper from his era. Yeah and even though I was a fan briefly I saw the light fuck Kendrick Lamar.

  2. I hoping you meant to type AZ instead of Jay-Z in that Crooklyn line-up. Primo already did the 2nd so I'm thinking the 3rd could have been handled by a BK native like Dr Period or Ski Beatz.

    Or maybe Ski, Camp Lo and their mate Jungle Brown could have done the 4th Crooklyn song.

  3. Great write up, though I disagree on a few of them things

    you gotta flow Joe..great point

  4. yes sir... great rant..much enjoyed.. peace domski